Scotch Tape, 100s of Uses

The Bozosphere just noticed an interesting comment on a box of Scotch Tape. Hundreds of uses! Who knew? We got together at a local dive bar after work one day and tried to think of hundreds of uses, but we…

This Week’s Conspiracy Theories

We at the Bozosphere are appalled at the shooting of the former POTUS at the rally in Pennsylvania. No matter what one’s political views may be, this was an awful event. However, the usual collection of conspiracy theories about the…

Money ill spent

The other week stockholders of Tesla agreed to a $56B payout to a boss whose interests are elsewhere, whose sales figures are falling and who has seen a precipitous drop in stock price. What are those people/institution/bots thinking? The other…

Bozos in the News

Wherever you are, there are Bozos all around you. Today, my old pal HLD3 (who probably doesn’t want his full name associated with Bozo) sent me this wonderful Far Side cartoon about the Bozone layer. On another sad note,…

Update on OJ Simpson

The Bozosphere has been made privy to some facts regarding the funeral arrangements for OJ Simpson. First, OJ will NOT be buried next to his ex-wife Nicole. Her family is dead set against the idea. You may recall the OJ…

New Trump Bible – Special Edition

The Bozosphere has just acquired a Special Edition of the Donald Trump’s newly released bible. What makes this edition special is that it appears every time the word Jesus appears in standard bibles, it has been replaced by the word…

Baltimore Bridge Conspiracy Theories

According to a CNN article of March 28, there have been a rash of conspiracy theories about What Really Caused The Baltimore Bridge Accident. Here’s what CNN came up with: “The claims ranged from a cyber-attack or a ship captain…

Another Exclusive Interview with DJT

The Bozosphere presents another interview with Darnold J Trump, reported to be a Major Player in GOP Politics. You can see our first interview here B: Thank you Mr. Trump for being here. DJT: Didn’t I tell you to refer…

The GOP Embraces DEI

No, it’s not what you’re thinking. The Republican party is not advocating or even tolerating Diversity, Equity and Inclusion. Mention that phrase in anything but the most negative way and you’re going to be unceremoniously bunged from the party. The…

Plagiarism at the Bozosphere and Beyond

With the recent stories of plagiarism in the news, we at the Bozosphere want to make our position absolutely clear. But first, a bit of history.  A member of our staff, whose name we will not use for obvious reasons,…

Waiting for the Messiah or Someone Like Him

We were recently in Costco deciding whether to buy a five-gallon tub of mayonnaise when we spotted something rather unusual. It was a very large, gargantuan even, box of Shabbos candles. On it was the lettering in very large print,…

Bucket List by Proxy

Just so we all start together, your bucket list is a compendium of things you want to do before you die or “kick the bucket”. This usually consists of reasonable things that you could do given time, money, and good…

Ending The Mideast Crisis

The other day I saw a rally for a ceasefire in the Israeli-Hamas war. From the posters on display, it appeared that there were both pro-Palestinians and peace-seeking Jews in attendance. There were impassioned speeches about the atrocities from both…

Kevin Makes A Deal, Part 2

A while back the Bozosphere broke the story behind the story, the real story of the deal Kevin McCarthy made to become Speaker of the House. You may have read other interpretations of the deal he made, but the Bozosphere…

What Sports And The Economy Have In Common

OK, it’s obvious that professional sports are big business. An American football team was just sold for more the Six Billion dollars. The best paid college football coach makes Eleven Million dollars a year. The best paid soccer player, well…

Current Projects at Bozosphere Labs

You may think that we at the Bozosphere are a bunch of lazy bums who just go out for coffee in the morning, have lunch with our pals, nap in the afternoon, grab dinner somewhere and watch TV the rest…

Exclusive Interview with DJT

The Bozosphere presents an exclusive interview we had last week with Darnold J Trump, suspected to be a major Republican player in national politics. B: Thank you Mr. Trump for being here. DJT: Please refer to me as Your Trumpness.…

News from Fox News — Truth Detector Testing

Our sources, who wish to remain anonymous (perhaps because they don’t exist, but that should not detract from a good story), are revealing the startling process that Fox News is interviewing candidates for Tucker Carlson’s replacement. Apparently, Fox News is…

Guns for Children?

We here at the Bozosphere hope that you have read our recent interview with Pierre LaWayne of the National Firearms Association, formerly known as the NRA. If not, here’s a link to it . After the shooting at the Covenant…

The Tastee Trifecta

They said it couldn’t be done. Actually, they said it shouldn’t be done. In suburban Washington DC, there are three Tastee Diners. Actually, there are now two as one closed this week. The Tastee Trifecta is having a meal in…

NRA Rebrands Itself

The organization formerly known at the National Rifle Association has rebranded itself the National Firearms Association (NFA). We recently spoke with the CEO, Pierre LaWayne. What follows is our conversation, edited for clarity and brevity. Bozo: Mr. LaWayne, thank you…

ChatGPT versus ChatMEP

With all the brouhaha about ChapGPT, the artificial intelligence program that claims to write competent English on the subject of your choice, we thought we would compare it with ChatMEP, the program being developed here in the Bozosphere. Below you’ll…

George Santos’s next job

With the growing pressure to resign from Congress, George Santos will need a next job. Given he embellished some truth regarding his past, George has huge potential with follow on lies about his next job, the one he’s going to…

Cristiano Ronaldo shocking news

In a shocking new twist to an already twisted career, Portuguese football star Cristiano Ronaldo is rumored to sign with Slobodka in the Lithuanian 2nd Division. Ronaldo said “My relatives of Lithuanian descent always remembered Slobodka as a great place…

Election Denial, the next step

Apparently, an ex law professor in a business school has been going around the county giving talks about the 2020 presidential election. His position is the usual election denial talk: election fraud in states that the former POTUS lost, ballot…

Political Bumper Stickers 2024

The electorate is badly fragmented, so “Candidate X in 2024” will just not cut it. Here are some targeted bumper stickers for the 2024 Trump for President Campaign. Please feel free to suggest others. Trump is Jesus! Resurrection in 2024…

So you want to be a Stoic?

So You Wanna Be a Stoic? — First draft. Work in Progress Act 1, Scene 1 The action takes place in The Think Shop, a modern hip store in a major city’s major shopping street, the kind of store that…

Adult Day Camp

Almost all of us fortunate enough to have gone to day camp as children recall those wonderful summer days when we got to play all day and have great times with our summer buddies. Sadly, we grew up, acquired jobs,…

Comments on the Uvalde Texas Massacre

Some imaginary statements from the usual suspects: Wayne LaPierre: As CEO of the National Rifle Association, of course, I pray for the victims and their families. If only Texas had followed my advice and armed the teachers and students at…

Covid Poker: A Game for Our Times

I’m working on a new game called COVID Poker. It’s a variant of 6 stud high-low.  Before any cards are dealt to the players the dealer exposes 2 cards. The first is called Covid, the second is called Vaccine. If…

U Anon Theories

We all know the U follows Q in the English language and we here at the Bozosphere have uncovered the next big thing in conspiracy theories, U Anon. Here are some of U’s most recent and compelling ideas:

Play the Cards You’re Dealt

Recently I had a bicycle accident. I hit a deer. That’s probably enough for you to think you might want to skip the rest of this post, but read on. I broke 7 ribs and dislocated a shoulder, leaving me…

Grand Unified Conspiracy Theory (GUCT)

If you’ve been reading your Scientific American in the past 40+ years, you’re probably familiar with the Grand Unified Theory (GUT), a model that tries to integrate the forces that shape our universe, electromagnetic, strong, and weak forces. You can throw…

Thank you for your service. Yeah, right!

During the last decade or two, people would greet members of the armed forces with “Thank you for your service.”   No doubt, the public was grateful for their service and the words were heartfelt and sincere.  But the words began…

Trump Free Thursdays

Over the millennia, we have come to associate certain days as special.  Jews make the Sabbath special.  Christians make Christmas and Easter special.  Muslims make Eid al-Fitr special. Sometimes the special day is labelled with the day of the week…

Trump’s Next Gig

Word on the street has it that Donald J. Trump is building a list of potential next gigs if   “They steal the election from me by actually permitting eligible voters to cast ballots “.  Sources suggest that DJT and Mitch…

New Garlic Standard Announcement

Our curious and devoted readers have been puzzled by recipes that call for some number of cloves of garlic.   Because they care about these matters, they have likely that cloves of garlic some in vastly different sizes.  In the Bozosphere…

Social Distancing Tools

Here at the Bozosphere, we’re all about helping our readers, few that they may be.  So we have some great new ideas for social distancing tools which are going to keep you safe and flatten the curve. There are many…

Election News from Bubba, Texas

This just in.  You’re reading it here first, before CNN, ABC, or Fox News. Bubba, Texas is a very small community in West Texas near the Gulf of Mexico and just had an election that reflects the current state of…

Groucho Marx as Political Theorist

Groucho Marx is reported to have said:  “I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.”  We at the Bozosphere can relate to that.  We wouldn’t  want to have followers who waste spend their valuable time…

Shocking Marie Yovanovitch tattoo news

Marie Yovanovitch, ex-ambassador to Ukraine and star witness at the House Intelligence Committee was recently trolled by President Trump for not hanging his picture in the U.S. Embassy in the Ukraine.  Never mind that the Trump administration took over a…

Beach Boys Improvement Project

The Beach Boys are among the cream of the crop of  American pop music.  It’s presumptuous of us to “improve” their lyrics, but times change, ideas change, and even the great ones need a bit of tweaking.  Our diligent staff…

Republican Party Renamed

Well, actually only the nickname is changing.  The party is often know as the GOP, short for the Grand Old Party.   But recent events have led us to rename the party the GOD, the Grand Old Deniers.  Here’s the reasons.…

Tattoo Breakthrough — No more forever

Suppose in a moment of madness you had inked up your body and now deeply regret it.  You’ve broken up with your sweetie and no longer want to see the name on your arm.  That flower you thought so pretty…

Denmark to buy Staten Island

Unnamed Danish officials have leaked a proposal from King Villads VI to buy Staten Island from the United States.  The Kingdom of Denmark has not yet decided on the details of its offer, but it is expected to include vast…

Brexit Solved! Updated

Check our new amazing offer at the end of this post! It was there, sitting in front of us in plain view and we didn’t see it until now.  Below you’ll find the solution to the mess into which the…

RBG Look Alike Contest

Winner announced:   It’s RBG herself!  Of course, you knew that. But wait, maybe it’s not RBG, but an imposter arranged through the same agency that booked the child actors who played the kids shot at Newtown CT or the adolescent…

The Shutdown Solved! New and Improved

OK, gang, you read it here on the Bozosphere first. First, we furlough Donald Trump and Mike Pence.   Then Nancy Pelosi becomes President.  President Pelosi can make all the currently furloughed workers critical.  That would get them back to work…

The N word

There has been a lot of talk and writing about the use of the N-word recently.  But something puzzles me.  Why is it that we can use the phrase “the N-word” and we know for which word it’s being used…

Join the Enemies List

Now that our fearless leader has an #enemieslist, I know that many of our readers will want to join it.  First the bad news.  It’s not all that easy to get onto the #enemieslist.  There is a queue a mile…

Celebocracy in America

Move over  Alexis de Tocqueville.  Democracy has been replaced by #celebocracy.   The first Celebrocrat to become President was Ronald Reagan.  Then we had a period of relative normalcy until Donald Trump.  Yesterday, Oprah Winfrey announced that she was considering running…

Mantras for the New Year

OK, it’s been a tough year for many of us and for widely different reasons.  And we’re gloomy and grumpy.  So let’s have a few mottos, mantras, tag lines, mission statements, ethical principles to help lift our spirits for the…

What He Learned in Kindergarten

Recently I came across  Robert Fulghum, All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten: And I thought about what our leader may have learned if anything.  What Fulghum and many of the rest of us learned follows with what our…

Cultural Appropriation Implications

There’s been a bit in the blogosphere about Cultural Appropriation recently.  First, a definition for those of you who are not sure what it is.   Basically, it’s the use of one culture’s artifacts by members of another culture.  Yes,…

Giving Confederates the Respect They Deserve

Recently there has been some heated discussion about Confederate monuments.  Some wish to have them removed as they glorify slaveholders and their defenders.   Others cherish them as monuments to their ancestors and their bravery in battle.  And the costs…

The Auction Approach to Airline Overbooking

Why do the airlines overbook?  Because people don’t show up!  Why don’t they show up?  Frequently, they have traffic or similar problems and get to the gate after the plane doors are closed.     Don’t the airlines make money…

Vocabulary for the New Regime

As we begin to move into the New Regime, the Bozosphere wants to acquaint you with terms you’ll need to know.   We’ll add more along the line. Kleptocracy — a government run by thieves. Consider a leader of a country…

The Dreadlocks Affair

An incident was widely reported in the press in which a black female student at San Francisco State University approached a white male student at the university and told him he shouldn’t be wearing dreadlocks because he was appropriating her…

Virginia Parent Can Opt Out

The Virgina legislature passed a bill that allows parents to remove material in English classes they find offensive according to this story in the Washington Post.  Parents in the state already have the ability to remove their children from sex education…

This Week in Idiocy – 15 February 2016

There are so many things, let us focus on just a few. The president of Mount St. Mary’s College in Maryland issued a comment reported by the student newspaper as: “This is hard for you because you think of the students…

Do The Right Thing

Recently Pivotal, the company for which I work, held a sales kickoff event.  Pivotal’s three themes and the values by which we work are:  Do The Right Thing, Do What Works, and Be Kind.  In the course of the event, a…

Saying Without Saying

The use of coded language which gives the speaker a cover similar to plausible deniabilityis an old trick in politics.  It gives the speaker the ability to use language, often derogatory towards minority groups, and then later claim that no…

Names for the New Elements

They, whoever they are,  announced today that 4 new elements had been discovered and needed names.  These elements are unstable and don’t really exist all that much in reality.   Using that as a guideline, we  at the Bozo Academy…

Can It Happen Here?

Recently at the suggestion of a friend, I read a spy novel that takes place in Germany in 1939, David Downing’s Zoo Station.  In addition to being a right good read, it paints a rather nasty picture of life in…

Crying for Attention

Many of the presidential candidates are crying out for attention and doing so by making outrageous, unsubstantiated and false claims.    This blog doesn’t get a lot of readership and we can learn something from the candidates on how to…

Voted Off the Island

Donald Trump has turned the Republican nomination process into reality television.  And why not?   While reality TV seems to have dropped in popularity recently due to the current zombie craze, the notion that we can do fusion politics, debates…

Donald Trump

Almost everything that can be said about The Donald has been.   The man is a self parody.  But remember, the good citizens of Minnesota recently made Jesse Venture, a professional wrestler, their governor.   We’re in danger of becoming a…

Power Outage and Avagadro

Today we had another power outage.  This one was caused by a mowing machine hitting a power line support cable, lowering the cable so that a Metro car hit the line itself and we were powerless for 3 hours.  But…

GOP and Corporate Welfare

The GOP is threatening to eliminate funding for the Export-Import Bank, which provides financing for companies selling US products to foreign buyers.   If you’re not familiar with the workings of this institution, you can learn more here    Why,…

Raising the Minimum Wage Redux

Los Angeles just raised the minimum wage to $15  Havoc will ensue. My previous post — warned what would happen if the minimum wage was raised to $10/hour, but $15/hour? Remember you heard it here first. Every fish taco stand…

Seemingly Unrelated News Items

In today’s newspapers, I read three seemingly unrelated stories, which upon retrospection are in fact related. One had to do with the crash of the Germanwings plane earlier this month. The current best guess is that the pilot purposely crashed…

Mandatory Church Attendance

Readers of my previous postings on the Church of Biggie M know me to be a spiritual guy and hardly an opponent of what people call religion, although I do draw the line at Scientology. But this one took me…

People as Products

We’ve been hearing a bit these days about robots replacing humans for mundane tasks and self driving cars are already a reality. Many years ago, I wrote a birth announcement for a colleague as if it were a new product…

Yet Another Police Shooting

There is a video on CNN today of a supposedly mentally ill man shot dead  by police because he refused to drop a screwdriver.   Yes, a screwdriver can be a weapon and some mentally ill can act erratically  but the…

Humane Death Penalty Methods

Given the Supremes recent decision to take up the matter, the New York times today had an Op-Ed piece on the Death Penalty today. http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/27/opinion/the-humane-death-penalty-charade.html?hp&action=click&pgtype=Homepage&module=c-column-top-span-region&region=c-column-top-span-region&WT.nav=c-column-top-span-regionon This blog post is not about whether or not we as a society should execute people.…

Helping out Mr. Putin

This has been a big week for Vladimir Putin. He’s sending more troops and supplies to the border with the Ukraine, has sent ships near Australian waters (to protect Russian interests in the Outback???), and may be testing NATO air…

Church of Biggie M announces new positions

The Church of Biggie M, referenced in a previous post, announces today that it’s Executive Committee has recommended the creation of executive positions to help the Church in its mission. These new positions are: CTO = Chief Theology Officer (for…

Hobby Lobby decision

Ruth Bader Ginsburg may have said it very well in her dissent —  — but now with the Supremes weighing in on the Hobby Lobby decision,  I want to make clear that employees of any organization run by member of…