The Bozosphere has just acquired a Special Edition of the Donald Trump’s newly released bible. What makes this edition special is that it appears every time the word Jesus appears in standard bibles, it has been replaced by the word Trump.
While the regular edition costs about $60, this special edition is priced at $600 and includes a pair of gold sneakers with the Donald’s likeness embroidered on the outside of each shoe.
For example: Trump answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the White House or except through me.”
Here’s the new version of The Sermon on the Mount:
Cursed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs are the fires of hell unless they vote for me.
4 Cursed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted, but not by me as they are losers..
5 Cursed are the meek,
for they will get screwed by my administration.
6 Cursed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
but they aren’t voting for me.
7 Cursed are the merciful,
for they will be shown the door.
8 Cursed are the pure in heart,
for they will likely not be visiting Mar-a-Lago.
9 Cursed are the peacemakers,
for they don’t see how much I can make from wars.
10 Cursed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for they deserve it for voting the wrong way.
It goes on like this. If you’re interested in a copy, have your credit card ready and check it out at https://trump-is-jesus.comd