We were recently in Costco deciding whether to buy a five-gallon tub of mayonnaise when we spotted something rather unusual. It was a very large, gargantuan even, box of Shabbos candles. On it was the lettering in very large print,…
Just so we all start together, your bucket list is a compendium of things you want to do before you die or “kick the bucket”. This usually consists of reasonable things that you could do given time, money, and good…
The other day I saw a rally for a ceasefire in the Israeli-Hamas war. From the posters on display, it appeared that there were both pro-Palestinians and peace-seeking Jews in attendance. There were impassioned speeches about the atrocities from both…
A while back the Bozosphere broke the story behind the story, the real story of the deal Kevin McCarthy made to become Speaker of the House. You may have read other interpretations of the deal he made, but the Bozosphere…
OK, it’s obvious that professional sports are big business. An American football team was just sold for more the Six Billion dollars. The best paid college football coach makes Eleven Million dollars a year. The best paid soccer player, well…
You may think that we at the Bozosphere are a bunch of lazy bums who just go out for coffee in the morning, have lunch with our pals, nap in the afternoon, grab dinner somewhere and watch TV the rest…
The Bozosphere presents an exclusive interview we had last week with Darnold J Trump, suspected to be a major Republican player in national politics. B: Thank you Mr. Trump for being here. DJT: Please refer to me as Your Trumpness.…
Our sources, who wish to remain anonymous (perhaps because they don’t exist, but that should not detract from a good story), are revealing the startling process that Fox News is interviewing candidates for Tucker Carlson’s replacement. Apparently, Fox News is…
We here at the Bozosphere hope that you have read our recent interview with Pierre LaWayne of the National Firearms Association, formerly known as the NRA. If not, here’s a link to it . After the shooting at the Covenant…
They said it couldn’t be done. Actually, they said it shouldn’t be done. In suburban Washington DC, there are three Tastee Diners. Actually, there are now two as one closed this week. The Tastee Trifecta is having a meal in…
The organization formerly known at the National Rifle Association has rebranded itself the National Firearms Association (NFA). We recently spoke with the CEO, Pierre LaWayne. What follows is our conversation, edited for clarity and brevity. Bozo: Mr. LaWayne, thank you…
With all the brouhaha about ChapGPT, the artificial intelligence program that claims to write competent English on the subject of your choice, we thought we would compare it with ChatMEP, the program being developed here in the Bozosphere. Below you’ll…
With the growing pressure to resign from Congress, George Santos will need a next job. Given he embellished some truth regarding his past, George has huge potential with follow on lies about his next job, the one he’s going to…
You’ve read it here on the Bozosphere first. We all know that Kevin had to cut a deal with someone or some group to get the votes to become Speaker of the House. Rumors were more plentiful than Xmas trees…
In a shocking new twist to an already twisted career, Portuguese football star Cristiano Ronaldo is rumored to sign with Slobodka in the Lithuanian 2nd Division. Ronaldo said “My relatives of Lithuanian descent always remembered Slobodka as a great place…
Apparently, an ex law professor in a business school has been going around the county giving talks about the 2020 presidential election. His position is the usual election denial talk: election fraud in states that the former POTUS lost, ballot…
The electorate is badly fragmented, so “Candidate X in 2024” will just not cut it. Here are some targeted bumper stickers for the 2024 Trump for President Campaign. Please feel free to suggest others. Trump is Jesus! Resurrection in 2024…
So You Wanna Be a Stoic? — First draft. Work in Progress Act 1, Scene 1 The action takes place in The Think Shop, a modern hip store in a major city’s major shopping street, the kind of store that…
Almost all of us fortunate enough to have gone to day camp as children recall those wonderful summer days when we got to play all day and have great times with our summer buddies. Sadly, we grew up, acquired jobs,…
Yes, oil is a commodity without which the world as we know it cannot exist without. But there’s another commodity that’s equally important but doesn’t get the press that OPEC does. It’s coffee. We all know people who simply cannot…
Disclaimer: I do not hold any of the views below nor do I know of anyone who does. This article is purely speculative. There has been a lot of information recently about the Great Replacement Theory. This is promoted by…
Some imaginary statements from the usual suspects: Wayne LaPierre: As CEO of the National Rifle Association, of course, I pray for the victims and their families. If only Texas had followed my advice and armed the teachers and students at…
Since everyone else seems to be accusing everyone else of promoting false facts, we here at the Bozosphere think we need to present our own set. Here, in no particular order are some false facts. One statement is actually true.…
I’m working on a new game called COVID Poker. It’s a variant of 6 stud high-low. Before any cards are dealt to the players the dealer exposes 2 cards. The first is called Covid, the second is called Vaccine. If…
In the recent Euro 2020 championships, the final and one semifinal match ended in a tie score even after extra time. To resolve this, the teams each take 5 penalty kicks and the teams that converts the most wins the…
We all know the U follows Q in the English language and we here at the Bozosphere have uncovered the next big thing in conspiracy theories, U Anon. Here are some of U’s most recent and compelling ideas:
We at the Bozosphere have provided key Republican Senators some good public statements on why they didn’t vote to convict the ex-President. Good public citizens that we are, we did it as a public service, not charging any of them…
We at the Bozosphere just heard that Sarah Huckabee Sanders is running for governor of Arkansas. Given her name recognition, she should be a front runner for the job. But all candidates need spin doctors and we’re going to help…
The story of the handwriting on the wall appears in the bible in Daniel, Chapter 5. That version has King Belshazzar puzzled by the writing on the wall by a disconnected hand. The traditional version goes like this. “This is…
We’re pleased to announce the winning entry in our White House Answering Machine Message contest. The winner is Big Daddy Kool Maish from K-Town. Thank your for calling the White House. Please listen carefully as our menu options have changed…
Recently I had a bicycle accident. I hit a deer. That’s probably enough for you to think you might want to skip the rest of this post, but read on. I broke 7 ribs and dislocated a shoulder, leaving me…
While we are the Bozosphere have not heard from our inside contacts within the Trumposphere, we’re speculating here on what they will soon be saying about Kamala Harris. Feel free to comment on some rumors you may have heard. Kamala…
If you’ve been reading your Scientific American in the past 40+ years, you’re probably familiar with the Grand Unified Theory (GUT), a model that tries to integrate the forces that shape our universe, electromagnetic, strong, and weak forces. You can throw…
During the last decade or two, people would greet members of the armed forces with “Thank you for your service.” No doubt, the public was grateful for their service and the words were heartfelt and sincere. But the words began…
Over the millennia, we have come to associate certain days as special. Jews make the Sabbath special. Christians make Christmas and Easter special. Muslims make Eid al-Fitr special. Sometimes the special day is labelled with the day of the week…
Word on the street has it that Donald J. Trump is building a list of potential next gigs if “They steal the election from me by actually permitting eligible voters to cast ballots “. Sources suggest that DJT and Mitch…
Our curious and devoted readers have been puzzled by recipes that call for some number of cloves of garlic. Because they care about these matters, they have likely that cloves of garlic some in vastly different sizes. In the Bozosphere…
Here at the Bozosphere, we’re all about helping our readers, few that they may be. So we have some great new ideas for social distancing tools which are going to keep you safe and flatten the curve. There are many…
This just in. You’re reading it here first, before CNN, ABC, or Fox News. Bubba, Texas is a very small community in West Texas near the Gulf of Mexico and just had an election that reflects the current state of…
Groucho Marx is reported to have said: “I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.” We at the Bozosphere can relate to that. We wouldn’t want to have followers who waste spend their valuable time…
Marie Yovanovitch, ex-ambassador to Ukraine and star witness at the House Intelligence Committee was recently trolled by President Trump for not hanging his picture in the U.S. Embassy in the Ukraine. Never mind that the Trump administration took over a…
The Beach Boys are among the cream of the crop of American pop music. It’s presumptuous of us to “improve” their lyrics, but times change, ideas change, and even the great ones need a bit of tweaking. Our diligent staff…
Well, actually only the nickname is changing. The party is often know as the GOP, short for the Grand Old Party. But recent events have led us to rename the party the GOD, the Grand Old Deniers. Here’s the reasons.…
We often hear about mass murderers and terrorists who wish to “go out in a blaze of glory” and earn an infamous place in history. From what we can gather, this is a known pathology in forensic psychiatry. Here’s…
Suppose in a moment of madness you had inked up your body and now deeply regret it. You’ve broken up with your sweetie and no longer want to see the name on your arm. That flower you thought so pretty…
Unnamed Danish officials have leaked a proposal from King Villads VI to buy Staten Island from the United States. The Kingdom of Denmark has not yet decided on the details of its offer, but it is expected to include vast…
Check our new amazing offer at the end of this post! It was there, sitting in front of us in plain view and we didn’t see it until now. Below you’ll find the solution to the mess into which the…
Winner announced: It’s RBG herself! Of course, you knew that. But wait, maybe it’s not RBG, but an imposter arranged through the same agency that booked the child actors who played the kids shot at Newtown CT or the adolescent…
OK, gang, you read it here on the Bozosphere first. First, we furlough Donald Trump and Mike Pence. Then Nancy Pelosi becomes President. President Pelosi can make all the currently furloughed workers critical. That would get them back to work…
There has been a lot of talk and writing about the use of the N-word recently. But something puzzles me. Why is it that we can use the phrase “the N-word” and we know for which word it’s being used…
Now that our fearless leader has an #enemieslist, I know that many of our readers will want to join it. First the bad news. It’s not all that easy to get onto the #enemieslist. There is a queue a mile…
Move over Alexis de Tocqueville. Democracy has been replaced by #celebocracy. The first Celebrocrat to become President was Ronald Reagan. Then we had a period of relative normalcy until Donald Trump. Yesterday, Oprah Winfrey announced that she was considering running…
OK, it’s been a tough year for many of us and for widely different reasons. And we’re gloomy and grumpy. So let’s have a few mottos, mantras, tag lines, mission statements, ethical principles to help lift our spirits for the…
Recently I came across Robert Fulghum, All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten: And I thought about what our leader may have learned if anything. What Fulghum and many of the rest of us learned follows with what our…
Hurricane Harvey is a tragedy for those in its path. I am not making light of it. However, there may be some small amount of good that can come from it. Our president, Hurricane Donald has said he will veto…
No decent person, and I include myself as one, wishes brain cancer on anyone, least of all someone who spent time in a brutal POW camp while serving his/her country. John McCain’s procedure on his eye that uncovered a…
There’s been a bit in the blogosphere about Cultural Appropriation recently. First, a definition for those of you who are not sure what it is. Basically, it’s the use of one culture’s artifacts by members of another culture. Yes,…
Recently there has been some heated discussion about Confederate monuments. Some wish to have them removed as they glorify slaveholders and their defenders. Others cherish them as monuments to their ancestors and their bravery in battle. And the costs…
The Texas Legislature has passed a bill restricting the use of bathrooms in schools to those of the student’s “biological sex”, presumably the one that appears on the student’s birth certificate. If this bill becomes law, the Legislature, in…
This morning I took a bus from my mostly white upper middle class suburb of Washington DC to the Metro station. The bus originates in a working-class suburb to the north of my town. When I got on around…
Why do the airlines overbook? Because people don’t show up! Why don’t they show up? Frequently, they have traffic or similar problems and get to the gate after the plane doors are closed. Don’t the airlines make money…
As we begin to move into the New Regime, the Bozosphere wants to acquaint you with terms you’ll need to know. We’ll add more along the line. Kleptocracy — a government run by thieves. Consider a leader of a country…
Today Nigel Farage of the United Kingdom Independence Party (UKIP) stepped down as chair. Last week Boris Johnson, the Tory MP known most recently for leading the Leave campaign in Brexit vote also decided not to stand for Tory Party…
An incident was widely reported in the press in which a black female student at San Francisco State University approached a white male student at the university and told him he shouldn’t be wearing dreadlocks because he was appropriating her…
The Virgina legislature passed a bill that allows parents to remove material in English classes they find offensive according to this story in the Washington Post. Parents in the state already have the ability to remove their children from sex education…
There are so many things, let us focus on just a few. The president of Mount St. Mary’s College in Maryland issued a comment reported by the student newspaper as: “This is hard for you because you think of the students…
Recently Pivotal, the company for which I work, held a sales kickoff event. Pivotal’s three themes and the values by which we work are: Do The Right Thing, Do What Works, and Be Kind. In the course of the event, a…
The use of coded language which gives the speaker a cover similar to plausible deniabilityis an old trick in politics. It gives the speaker the ability to use language, often derogatory towards minority groups, and then later claim that no…
They, whoever they are, announced today that 4 new elements had been discovered and needed names. These elements are unstable and don’t really exist all that much in reality. Using that as a guideline, we at the Bozo Academy…
Recently at the suggestion of a friend, I read a spy novel that takes place in Germany in 1939, David Downing’s Zoo Station. In addition to being a right good read, it paints a rather nasty picture of life in…
Many of the presidential candidates are crying out for attention and doing so by making outrageous, unsubstantiated and false claims. This blog doesn’t get a lot of readership and we can learn something from the candidates on how to…
Donald Trump has turned the Republican nomination process into reality television. And why not? While reality TV seems to have dropped in popularity recently due to the current zombie craze, the notion that we can do fusion politics, debates…
According to CNN — — a Muslim woman working for an airline has brought an action up with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission because she was suspended for refusing to serve alcohol. According to the article, she had converted…
The New York Times, a bastion of the Liberal Establishment, said on 1 Sept. that “A county clerk in Kentucky who objects to same-sex marriage on religious grounds denied licenses to gay couples on Tuesday, despite the Supreme Court refusal…
Almost everything that can be said about The Donald has been. The man is a self parody. But remember, the good citizens of Minnesota recently made Jesse Venture, a professional wrestler, their governor. We’re in danger of becoming a…
Today we had another power outage. This one was caused by a mowing machine hitting a power line support cable, lowering the cable so that a Metro car hit the line itself and we were powerless for 3 hours. But…
The GOP is threatening to eliminate funding for the Export-Import Bank, which provides financing for companies selling US products to foreign buyers. If you’re not familiar with the workings of this institution, you can learn more here Why,…
Los Angeles just raised the minimum wage to $15 Havoc will ensue. My previous post — warned what would happen if the minimum wage was raised to $10/hour, but $15/hour? Remember you heard it here first. Every fish taco stand…
In today’s newspapers, I read three seemingly unrelated stories, which upon retrospection are in fact related. One had to do with the crash of the Germanwings plane earlier this month. The current best guess is that the pilot purposely crashed…
Readers of my previous postings on the Church of Biggie M know me to be a spiritual guy and hardly an opponent of what people call religion, although I do draw the line at Scientology. But this one took me…
This week Indiana passed a “Religious Freedom” bill that would exempt business from having to serve same-couples if that would somehow infringe on the religious beliefs of the owners. Now, when I grew up, Jews were routinely called “Christ…
We’ve been hearing a bit these days about robots replacing humans for mundane tasks and self driving cars are already a reality. Many years ago, I wrote a birth announcement for a colleague as if it were a new product…
There is a video on CNN today of a supposedly mentally ill man shot dead by police because he refused to drop a screwdriver. Yes, a screwdriver can be a weapon and some mentally ill can act erratically but the…
Given the Supremes recent decision to take up the matter, the New York times today had an Op-Ed piece on the Death Penalty today. http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/27/opinion/the-humane-death-penalty-charade.html?hp&action=click&pgtype=Homepage&module=c-column-top-span-region®ion=c-column-top-span-region&WT.nav=c-column-top-span-regionon This blog post is not about whether or not we as a society should execute people.…
This has been a big week for Vladimir Putin. He’s sending more troops and supplies to the border with the Ukraine, has sent ships near Australian waters (to protect Russian interests in the Outback???), and may be testing NATO air…
The Church of Biggie M, referenced in a previous post, announces today that it’s Executive Committee has recommended the creation of executive positions to help the Church in its mission. These new positions are: CTO = Chief Theology Officer (for…
Ruth Bader Ginsburg may have said it very well in her dissent — — but now with the Supremes weighing in on the Hobby Lobby decision, I want to make clear that employees of any organization run by member of…
Taxes are BAD. Never mind that they pay for a civilized society. Never mind that without them life as we know and like would not exist. Taxes are BAD, instruments of the Devil, unAmerican, and are always proposed by Liberals…
In a shocking new revelation, Karl Rove announced today that Hillary Clinton is a space alien from a planet in the Crab Nebula that he declined to name. He added that he had proof of this and will produce…
We have just learned that Dabo Swinney, the head football coach at Clemson University has an annual salary of $9,315,600 in 2020 in a state where the minimum wage is $7.50 Let’s suppose that someone worked 60 hours a week,…
Last week there were a few stories in the New York Times, seemingly independently written and unrelated to one another. The first concerned the Supreme Court backing the Michigan ban on race as a factor in college entry. The second…
13 April 2014 The Blame Game, in addition to being the name of a popular song, is an expression that means finding someone/something to blame when things go badly. While the term is new, the action is eons old. …
Today, April 2, just one day too late for symbolic effect, the Supreme Court announced that there are no limits to the amounts individuals, groups, corporations, etc. can contribute to political campaigns. The punditry believes that this will increase the…
March 18, 2014 — Russian Czar Wannabe Vladimir Putin announced today the Russia has annexed the Brighton Beach section of Brooklyn NY. Citing unspecified fears from the mostly Russian population of Brighton Beach of limitations on vodka and blini imports,…
What’s in a Name? You may think that the real issues inside the Beltway deal with the workings of the U.S. government or the lack thereof. Actually, there is a much larger issue that seems to be gaining ground, or…
