We at the Bozosphere have provided key Republican Senators some good public statements on why they didn’t vote to convict the ex-President. Good public citizens that we are, we did it as a public service, not charging any of them one penny.
Mario Rubio (FL), Ted Cruz (TX), Josh Hawley (AK): “I couldn’t see how I would explain it in my stump speeches in the 2024 Republican Presidential primaries.”
Mitch McConnell (KY): “Why would you expect anything else from me? A leopard doesn’t change his spots, unless there’s something in it for him”
Tom Cotton (AK): “What? Ruin my perfect Pro-Trump record? I’m voting for the Donald even if he’s dead”
Tommy Tuberville (AL): “As a coach, I needed to review the film again. I didn’t see any foul.”
Lindsay Graham (SC): “If I did something like that, DJT wouldn’t invite me to Mar-a-Lago ever again or allow me to kiss his feet.”
Rand Paul (KY): “It’s against my libertarian principles to deny the will of all those 120 million people who voted to keep DJT in office.”
Rob Portman (OH), Richard Shelby (AL): “I’m resigning soon, so it doesn’t matter how I vote.”
Mike Lee (UT): “If I keep more pro-Trump record straight, I can be the most pro-Trump guy ever and get into the Guinness Book of World Records.”
Rick Scott (FL): “He’s a resident of Florida and it’s constituent service to help our beleaguered residents.”
Ron Johnson (WI): “I was ice fishing when it happened, so I don’t have the whole story.”
John Cornyn (TX): “I do what Ted Cruz tells me. He went to Ivy League schools, so I figure he knows best. I don’t hold it against him that his father may have assassinated a President who was a Democrat and a Liberal.”
The rest: “I’ve got a primary coming up soon. ‘Nuff said.”