Today, April 2, just one day too late for symbolic effect, the Supreme Court announced that there are no limits to the amounts individuals, groups, corporations, etc. can contribute to political campaigns. The punditry believes that this will increase the role of money in political campaigns. If we spent as much money on improving our society as we spent on political campaigns, we would be in a better place. But I digress.
Where will this money be spent? Let me make a modest suggestion. All candidates in the next election can grease my palm to vote for them. I’m taking cash, checks, credit cards, barter, IOUs, Czarist rubles, bitcoin. If it’s got more than a modicum of value, I’ll take it. And in the spirit of bipartisanship, I’m accepting from all candidates regardless of party, political persuasion, race, creed, religion, gender identity, or shoe size.
I do hope that the candidates don’t think that costly negative attack ads on TV will be more effective than simply bribing voters. Show me the evidence!
So, bring it on! I know it’s early yet for the 2014 elections, but I’m accepting now. And early money, as we know, goes a long way in politics.
Our daughter, Cindylou, is running for 5th grade class president at Swampland Elementary School in Beauregard, Louisiana. Are you able to rig that election? If so, what would it cost us?
Perhaps I was not clear. I’m not offering bribe money for votes, nor am I offering expertise to pols with the cash on how to bribe voters. I am accepting bribe money, if it is deemed legal by the Supremes. I cannot advise your daughter. Furthermore, my staff has done some investigation and find no reference to a Swampland Elementary School in Beauregard Parrish LA. I do hope this is not some frivolous exercise on your part nor part of a sting operation.