This just in. You’re reading it here first, before CNN, ABC, or Fox News.
Bubba, Texas is a very small community in West Texas near the Gulf of Mexico and just had an election that reflects the current state of the Republican Party in the US. They’ve just elected Chris Hysoscella mayor with a last minute write in campaign.
Chris is no ordinary mayor. In fact, Chris is not a human. Chrysaora hysoscella is the Latin name for the compass jellyfish.
One voter, who began the write in campaign and did not give us his/her name told us about the reasons for the write in campaign.
“A lot of us traditional Republicans here in Bubba kinda figure that since most of the Republicans in Congress are kinda spineless, we should have a spineless creature here in Bubba representing us. We thought about electing a crayfish. They don’t have spines, but do have an external skeleton. That’s a lot more than our Congress Person has. So we thought to have a write in campaign. We did change his or her name. It’s kinda hard to know with jellyfish. With chickens, you can bring in a chicken sex expert to sort out the males and females. Do jellyfish even have males and females? But I digress. Chris is living in the aquarium I got in the living room and I’m planning on bring Chris into town meetings is a special travel tank. If only Republicans everywhere had this revelation, the country would be in a better place.”