We here at the Bozosphere hope that you have read our recent interview with Pierre LaWayne of the National Firearms Association, formerly known as the NRA. If not, here’s a link to it . After the shooting at the Covenant School in Nashville, we had another interview with Mr. LaWayne.
Bozo: Thank you Mr. LaWayne for speaking with us. We know you must have had a time of it after the Nashville school shootings.
PLW: Yes, my prayers go out to the families of the victims as my prayers have gone out to the 200+ victims of mass shootings this year. Do you have any idea how many sympathy cards we send out, each with a solicitation for membership? It keeps our staff very busy. And that doesn’t include the 500 people injured.
Bozo: How would you suggest we approach the problem?
PLW: Well, as the old saying goes, “For some it’s a problem, for others an opportunity”
Bozo: An opportunity for what?
PLW: You know Bozo, that the NFA, formerly the NRA, put forth a very sensible solution quite some time ago. The problem isn’t too many guns, it’s not enough guns. We have advocated arming children, particularly in middle school and high school. But given the situation, we’ve expanded our plan to include elementary school kids.
Bozo: And how would that help?
PLW: Well, the 9-year-olds at Covenant School could have shot the trans-queer person/thing who attacked the school as soon as he/she/they/it entered the building. That would have put an end to it.
Bozo: Do you really support arming 9-year-olds?
PLW: Well, they would have to have an hour or so of training in cleaning the weapon, holding a semi-automatic the right way, aiming it, and so on.
Bozo: And licensed as well, of course?
PLW: No way. Licensing would mean the Socialists would take away our freedom.
Bozo: What might happen during schoolyard fights?
PLW: Well, we might lose a few kids every month or so if some hothead overreacted in a game of tag in the schoolyard, but that’s a small price to pay to protect the 2nd and 3rd Amendments to the Constitution.
Bozo: The Third Amendment?
PLW: Of course Bozo. We can foresee Biden or Camela (sic) keeping soldiers in the houses of our members to spy on them. The kids would be pretty pissed off if they had to share their bedrooms with those soldiers, who may well be of a different race and could be groomers.
Bozo: Pierre LaWayne, thank you for your time here with the Bozosphere.
PLW: My pleasure. What do you say you were going to pay me for the interview?