Unnamed Danish officials have leaked a proposal from King Villads VI to buy Staten Island from the United States. The Kingdom of Denmark has not yet decided on the details of its offer, but it is expected to include vast sums of gold, the Faroe Islands, and a lifetime supply of pickled herring for the entire Trump family. The Danes believe that immigration holding pens on Staten Island will prevent huge number of Americans from illegally attempting to sneak into Denmark should the current president of the US be re-elected in 2020. One official document suggested that Denmark would be “invaded by hordes of immigrants from shithole countries”, i.e. those run by two bit populist phonies who have only the most limited ability to speak truthfully. We have repeatedly attempted to reach King Villads VI, but have had no response.