We at the Bozosphere just heard that Sarah Huckabee Sanders is running for governor of Arkansas. Given her name recognition, she should be a front runner for the job. But all candidates need spin doctors and we’re going to help Sarah by transforming some of her quotes while she was spinning for a recent public figure.
Original: Just because reporters say something over and over and over again doesn’t start to make it true.
For her campaign: It’s because I lie to you over and over and over again that makes it true.
Original: I think God calls all of us to fill different roles at different times, and I think that he wanted Donald Trump to become president,
For her campaign: God told me that he wants me to become Governor of Arkansas.
Original: If you want to see chaos, you should come to my house early in the morning when my three kids are running around. That’s chaos.
For her campaign: You want to see quality chaos, think of what Donald Trump brought to the Capitol on January 6. I want to do for Arkansas what Trump did to the U.S. Capitol.
We could go on and on, but Sarah needs to start paying us for these good lines.