Just so we all start together, your bucket list is a compendium of things you want to do before you die or “kick the bucket”.
This usually consists of reasonable things that you could do given time, money, and good health. Examples are learning Spanish, visiting Yosemite National Park, and improving your tan. But sometimes, we put unrealistic items on our bucket lists. Here’s where we at the Bozospere can help.
We’ve just inaugurated our new service, Bucket List by Proxy. We will eliminate those items on your bucket list that you cannot or choose not to do.
For example, suppose climbing Mt. Everest is on your list, but you know that you’re not going to be able to do it. One of our staff or contractors will climb Mt. Everest for you, taking pictures, sending Whats App messages from your account and spray painting your name at the summit. We suggest you choose something other than your real name, like “Big Daddy Cool” or “Rock Lady Liz”
There are certain things we cannot do.
If “Rob a bank” is on your list, we will not do that or any other illegal activity.
If “Win the lottery” is on your list, remember that even the Bozosphere cannot defy the laws of probability.
If “Meet Abraham Lincoln” is on your list, we cannot go back in time, but we will have a Lincoln impersonator meet you or a proxy at the Starbucks in Gettysburg PA for a discussion of what Abe is going to say that day when giving his address on the battlefield. You can help fashion the message. Of course, Abe will get the credit. We’ll video it for you so you can put it on your Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, or other social media page. You’re going to get a lot of hits for something like that.
As this is a very personalized service, we do not have a price list, but will give you a non-binding, but accurate, estimate of the costs and give you some options.
For example, if you’ve always wanted to visit Pocatello Idaho, we would give you a choice of first class or economy air passage, four star or more modest accommodation, and luxury SUV or compact rental car. We can send postcards from Pocatello to all your friends and family. Won’t Aunt Martha be pleased when she receives her card?
These are just a few examples. We can offer many more bucket list knockoffs, so please leave a comment with your name and contact information and our staff will get back to you promptly.