The POTUS has been attacking many universities, accusing them of antisemitism. This may seem contradictory from a man backed by white supremacists and Christian nationalists. We here at the Bozosphere have a solution. The POTUS feels unloved by these institutions and the POTUS loves servile flattery. These institutions can show their love for him by awarding him honorary degrees.
Our alma mater, Fat City State College has offered the POTUS a Doctor of Alternative Facts. In the spirit of a guy who likes to make deals, FCSC will grant the POTUS the honorary doctorate if he awards it a multi-million dollar grant to study frostbite of the kneecaps.
Frostbite of the knees is America’s hidden medical problem, one RFK Jr would be aware of if he didn’t have a worm in his brain. Students, from elementary school up to college, walk around in shorts all year long, even in the coldest winters. How does this affect their knees? While the rest of their legs have some amount of fatty tissue to help keep them warm, the kneecaps have none. This is causing frostbite of the kneecaps.
Why aren’t we seeing this reported in the medical journals? This condition does not manifest itself until years after the trauma. This is similar to the brain injuries that football players and boxers get from repeated blows to the head. In a few years, our medical facilities will be overwhelmed by patients seeking relief from their deteriorating kneecaps.
We need to work on this now, before our medical facilities are overwhelmed. It is for this reason that Fat City State College has embarked on its multi-million dollar study of frostbite of the kneecaps, the only such study being conducted anywhere. We can’t find a cure without the funding from the grant we hope the POTUS will offer in return for this honorary degree.
If more prestigious institutions of higher education followed this strategy, they might have their grants restored. Just saying.